《Today I Decided to Stop Waiting for You》
? ? ? 《今天我終決定不再等待》
Never have I thought that there would come a day that I'd be sure of finally walking away from you.
我從未想過終有一日我將要離開你。
I'd been telling myself that I'd be willing to wait, reassuring myself that one day you'll come back to me and we'd be able to continue where we'd left off; when everything was too beautiful to even believe.
我曾一直告訴我自己，我愿意等你。安慰我自己你會回來我身邊，我們可以從我們停下的地方繼續開始。那時候想的太美好甚至我自己都無法相信。
These days, however, the thought of you hasn't been clouding my mind anymore. The pain that once held me back from getting out of bed is now long gone.
然而，這些天。一想到你，我不再心神不寧了。那讓我起不來床的痛苦的日子已經過去很久了。
When you told me that you hoped we could still be friends, I knew deep inside that it would hurt too much to continue being a part of your life when, clearly, there could be something more.
當你告訴我你希望我們仍然是朋友，我深深地明白，若是再繼續成為你生活的一部分，會給你我帶來更大的傷害。很顯然，還有很多事情等著我。
Now I'm certain that no matter how great our love could have been, I still deserve someone who is willing enough to try and stay no matter the circumstance—something you weren't able to do for the both of us.
如今我確定不論我們的愛有多偉大，我也值得有人不論什么情況都愿意為我嘗試，去做那些你不能為我們做的事。
So, despite the fact that I had fallen in love with you more than I could ever with anyone else so far, what I'm trying to say is that maybe it's for the best to move on with my life, and from you, instead of hoping.
所以啊，盡管到如今我和任何人在一起都比不上和你相愛。但是我想說的是，也許從你的生活中消失是最好的事，讓我不再抱有希望。
In the end, hope is only a way for me to hold on to fantasy, to the dream of having an “us”.
在最后的結局里，幻想著“我們”的希望是讓我唯一可以繼續堅持的方式。
Besides, you were already a dream come true. You'd shown me that there are still people who see life in my perspective, who listen, who love like there's no tomorrow.
而你已經夢想成真了。你已告訴我，仍然有些人用我的角度看待這生活，有人去努力聽，有人去努力愛，仿佛沒有明天一樣。
You'd opened my eyes to a new world that's positive and full of contentment. Because of you, I've finally begun to appreciate the value of time. You were my miracle when I was already giving up.
你讓我看到了一個充滿積極和滿足的新世界。因為你，我開始意識到時間的價值，你是我在心灰意冷時世界給我的奇跡。
Anyways, you were right all along when you said I should be thankful. Hopefully enough, you believe me when I say thank you for making my heart feel whole again.
不管怎樣，當你和我說我應該時常感激的時候你都是對的。希望你相信我，當我說謝謝你讓我的心變得再次完整。
I'm giving you up now, though. I know you're happy wherever you are, you've always been such a joyful person.
雖然我現在要放棄你了。我知道你無論在哪都很快樂，你總是一個那么開心的人。
I hope that, soon enough, I live a life that is surrounded by happiness too.
我相信，不久以后，我的生活也會被快樂開心所環繞。
But if there will ever come a time that we meet coincidentally, or if you come knocking on my door again, maybe I might let you back in.
但是如果我們偶然再相遇，若你要再次敲開我的心門，或許我會再讓你進來。
It's just that today, I've finally decided to stop waiting.
但是今天，我終決定不再等待。
——2019.5.7.落落青楊.譯
