此篇文章來自TED：Jia Jiang: What I learned from 100 days of rejection。
我覺得寫得還蠻有意思的，分享給大家。因為是第一次翻譯，如有不足處，請大家多多指教。
When I was six years old,I received my gifts.My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea.She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other.So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom,and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner.And she said,"Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other?If you hear your name called,go and pick up your gift and sit down."What a wonderful idea, right?What could go wrong?
我六歲的時候收到了禮物。我的一年級老師想出了一個很棒的主意，她希望我們既可以體會到收禮物的快樂又可以學會贊美別人，所以她給我們買了禮物，然后堆放在墻角。然后她對我們說：“我們為什么不站起來呢？如果你的名字被叫到，就可以去挑選禮物然后坐下啦。” 很棒的主意對嗎？沒有什么不對勁兒的。
0:45(Laughter)
0:47Well, there were 40 of us to start with,and every time I heard someone's name called,I would give out the heartiest cheer.And then there were 20 people left,and 10 people left,and five left ...and three left.And I was one of them.And the compliments stopped.Well, at that moment, I was crying.And the teacher was freaking out.She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"
嗯。。。我們有四十個人，只要我聽到有人被叫到，我就會給予他最真摯的祝福。一會兒后，還有二十個人站著，然后十個，五個......最后只剩下三個人。我就是其中一個。然后稱贊停止了。在那一刻，我哭了。老師也很驚訝，“嘿，沒有人愿意說些他們的好話嗎？”
1:15(Laughter)
1:16"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down.So behave next year --someone might say something nice about you."
“真沒有嗎？好吧，你們幾個還是直接去拿禮物然后回去坐下吧。下一年努力表現，可能就會有人稱贊你們了。”
1:22(Laughter)
1:25Well, as I'm describing this you,you probably know I remember this really well.
哈哈，當我描述這件事的時候，你們應該知道我的印象有多深刻了吧。
1:29(Laughter)
1:31But I don't know who felt worse that day.Was it me or the teacher?She must have realized that she turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds.And without the humor.You know, when you see people get roasted on TV,it was funny.There was nothing funny about that day.
但我不知道那天誰更難過一點，我還是我的老師呢？她一定意識到了，對于那三個六歲的孩子來說，那不是一個團隊建設的活動，那是嘲笑。而且一點也不好玩。你們懂的，我們在電視里看到有人被嘲諷的時候，我們會覺得很好笑。但那天一點也不搞笑。
1:50So that was one version of me,and I would die to avoid being in that situation again --to get rejected in public again.That's one version.Then fast-forward eight years.Bill Gates came to my hometown --Beijing, China --to speak,and I saw his message.I fell in love with that guy.I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now.That night I wrote a letter to my familytelling them: "By age 25,I will build the biggest company in the world,and that company will buy Microsoft."
那是我的一面，并且我再也不想把自己置于那樣的境地----大庭廣眾之下被拒絕。八年過去了，我又經歷了另一件事兒。比爾蓋茨來到我的家鄉中國北京演講，我受到了他的感染，我喜歡上了那個家伙。我想，哇，我知道我想做什么了。那天晚上，我給我的家人寫了一封信，我說：“到了25歲的時候，我會擁有全世界規模最大的公司，那家公司還把微軟收購了。”
2:23(Laughter)
2:25I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world --domination, right?And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter.And here it is --
我懷抱著征服世界的夢想，而且我沒有說謊，我確實寫了那封信。你們看，
2:34(Laughter)
2:36You don't have to read this through --
2:38(Laughter)
2:40This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words.You get the idea.
我的字不太好看，我劃出了一些關鍵的地方，你們一看就懂的。
2:45(Laughter)，
2:47So ...that was another version of me:one who will conquer the world.
所以，這是另一個我：一個想征服世界的我。
2:54Well, then two years later,I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States.I jumped on it,because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?
然后，又是兩年過去了，我有了一個機會去美國。我抓住了那個機會，畢竟那是比爾蓋茨生活的地方嘛，對吧？
3:04(Laughter)
3:05I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey.Then, fast-forward another 14 years.I was 30.Nope, I didn't build that company.I didn't even start.I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company.And I felt I was stuck;I was stagnant.Why is that?Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter?It's not because he didn't try.It's because every time I had a new idea,every time I wanted to try something new,even at work --I wanted to make a proposal,I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group --I felt there was this constant battlebetween the 14-year-old and the six-year-old.One wanted to conquer the world --make a difference --another was afraid of rejection.And every time that six-year-old won.
我認為那將是我企業之旅開始的地方！時光飛逝啊，14年轉眼而過。我三十歲了。我沒有建立起那樣的公司，我甚至沒有開始。我成為了一家世界500強公司的市場經理。我感覺我被困住了，當年那個寫信的14歲男孩不知道去了哪里。不是因為我沒有嘗試過，而是因為每次我有了新點子的時候，我想嘗試新鮮事物的時候，甚至在工作上-------我想提議的時候，我想在小組發言的時候，我都能感覺到14歲的我和6歲的我在不斷斗爭。一個想要征服世界改變自我，另一個害怕拒絕不敢嘗試，而每次都是后者贏了。
3:56And this fear even persisted after I started my own company.I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 --if you want to be Bill Gates,you've got to start sooner or later, right?When I was an entrepreneur,I was presented with an investment opportunity,and then I was turned down.And that rejection hurt me.It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there.But then I thought,hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection?Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that?No way.And this is where it clicked for me.OK, I can build a better company.I can build a better team or better product,but one thing for sure:I've got to be a better leader.I've got to be a better person.I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore.I have to put him back in his place.
在我30歲開始創業開公司時，這種恐懼依然存在。我30歲開始創業，畢竟如果你想成為比爾蓋茨，你遲早得開始創業，對吧？當我成為一名企業家的時候，我得到了一個拉投資的機會，但后來我被拒絕了。這件事給我打擊很大，以至于我想馬上放棄。但后來我又想比爾蓋茨遇到這種情況會放棄嗎？成功企業家會像這樣輕言放棄嗎？絕對不會！這種想法點醒了我，要想建立一個更好的公司，擁有更優秀的團隊和產品，我必須要成為一個更優秀的領導者，一個更好的人。我不能再讓那個六歲的我主宰生活，他必須回到他應該在的地方。
4:50So this is where I went online and looked for help.Google was my friend.
所以我上網尋求幫助了，google是我的朋友。
4:53(Laughter)
4:54I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?"I came up with a bunch of psychology articlesabout where the fear and pain are coming from.Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articlesabout "Don't take it personally, just overcome it."Who doesn't know that?
我輸入問題，“我怎么樣才能克服被拒絕的恐懼呢？”我看了很多關于恐懼和痛苦來自哪里的心理學文章，然后又看了那種“不要太當回事兒，去克服就行了”的雞血文。誰不知道這個道理啊？
5:11(Laughter)
5:13But why was I still so scared?Then I found this website by luck.It's called rejectiontherapy.com.
但我還是很害怕拒絕。這時候我幸運地找到一個叫rejection therapy.com的網站。
5:20(Laughter)
5:22"Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.His name is Jason Comely.And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection,and every day get rejected at something,and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain.And I loved that idea.
"Rejection Therapy"是一個叫Jason Comely.的加拿大企業家發明的游戲。基本上設想是這樣的：連續30天出去尋找拒絕，每天你都被拒絕的話，最后，你對這種痛苦就免疫了。 ? ? ? ? ? ? 我喜歡這個主意。
5:41(Laughter)
5:43I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this.And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days."And I came up with my own rejection ideas,and I made a video blog out of it.
我要去做這件事情，我還要把時間定為100天。然后我想出了一些可能會被拒絕的提議，為此我還建了一個video blog。
5:54And so here's what I did.This is what the blog looked like.Day One ...
這就是我做的，blog大概是這個樣子的，第一天：
6:01(Laughter)
6:02Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.So this is where I went to where I was working.I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk.He looked like a security guard.So I just approached him.And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life --hair on the back of my neck standing up,I was sweating and my heart was pounding.And I got there and said,"Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"
向陌生人借100美元。我去了我工作的地方，下樓的時候我看到一個大家伙坐在桌子的后面，看起來像是保安。所以我就向他走過去，我覺得那真是此生最漫長的路----我汗毛直豎，全身發汗，心跳如鼓。然后我站在他面前說：“嘿，先生，我可以向你借100美金嗎？”
6:29(Laughter)
6:30And he looked up, he's like, "No.""Why?"
他抬起頭“不可以，為什么？“
6:35And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."Then I turned around, and I just ran.
但我只是說：“不可以啊，那打擾了。”然后我落荒而逃。
6:39(Laughter)
6:41I felt so embarrassed.But because I filmed myself --so that night I was watching myself getting rejected,I just saw how scared I was.I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense."I saw dead people.
我感覺超級尷尬。但正是因為我看了自己被拒絕的過程，我才發現我有多恐懼，不自覺地我就會成為六歲的我。我看著呆板的人們，
6:54(Laughter)
6:56But then I saw this guy.You know, he wasn't that menacing.He was a chubby, loveable guy,and he even asked me, "Why?"In fact, he invited me to explain myself.And I could've said many things.I could've explained, I could've negotiated.I didn't do any of that.All I did was run.I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life.Every time I felt the slightest rejection,I would just run as fast as I could.And you know what?The next day, no matter what happens,I'm not going to run.I'll stay engaged.
然后我發現了這個家伙。你們看，他并不刻薄，他是一個可愛的人，他甚至會問我為什么。事實上，他在邀請我解釋原因。我可以說很多出來，我可以解釋，我可以協商，但我什么也沒做。我只是落荒而逃。我感覺，哇，這就是我人生的縮影，每當我受到一點拒絕的時候，我就只會逃跑。我下定決心，第二天不管發生什么，我絕不逃跑。
7:31Day Two: Request a "burger refill."
第二天：要求把漢堡重新裝滿。
7:33(Laughter)
7:35It's when I went to a burger joint,I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said,"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"
我去了一家漢堡連鎖店，我吃完午餐后，我對收銀員說：“嗨，可以給我一個burger refill嗎？”
7:41(Laughter)
7:43He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"
他很疑惑“什么是burger refill？”
7:46(Laughter)
7:47I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger."And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."
我說：“就像是飲品續杯那樣，只不過飲品換成了漢堡。”然后他回答說：“抱歉兄弟，我們并不提供這樣的服務。”
7:53(Laughter)
7:55So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed.I said, "Well, I love your burgers,I love your joint,and if you guys do a burger refill,I will love you guys more."
所以這又是一次我可以逃跑的機會，但我留下了。我說：“我喜歡你們的漢堡，我喜歡你們的店，當然如果你們能提供burger refill，我會更喜歡你們的。”
8:06(Laughter)
8:07And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it,and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today."Then I left.And by the way,I don't think they've ever done burger refill.
他回答：“好吧，我會告訴經理的，以后我們可能會有這樣的服務，但今天肯定不行。”然后我就離開了。順便說一句，我覺得他們現在也沒有提供burger refill。
8:18(Laughter)
8:20I think they're still there.But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there,just because I stayed engaged --because I didn't run.I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things.Great."
我想恐懼依然是存在的，只是第一次那種窒息的感覺已經不存在了，因為我沒有逃跑，我堅持下來了。我對自己說：“哇，太棒了，我學到了東西。”
8:34And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts.This is where my life was turned upside down.I went to a Krispy Kreme.It's a doughnut shopin mainly the Southeastern part of the United States.I'm sure they have some here, too.And I went in,I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols?Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... "I mean there's no way they could say yes, right?The doughnut maker took me so seriously.
第三天：得到奧林匹克甜甜圈。這是我人生改變的一個點。我去了一家主要分布在美國東南部地區名為Krispy Kreme的甜甜圈商店。我進去問道：“請問這里有那種像是奧林匹克標志的甜甜圈嗎？就是你把五個甜甜圈連在一起。。。。。。”我想他們沒可能回答有，對吧？但老板很重視我的問題。
9:01(Laughter)
9:02So she put out paper,started jotting down the colors and the rings,and is like, "How can I make this?"And then 15 minutes later,she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings.And I was so touched.I just couldn't believe it.And that video got over five million views on Youtube.The world couldn't believe that either.
所以她拿出了紙開始畫圖上色，想著怎么樣做出成品。15分鐘后，她拿出了一個盒子就像奧林匹克五環一樣。我非常感動。那個視頻在Youtube.上有五百萬的播放量，我想大家也同樣感覺不可思議。
9:23(Laughter)
9:26You know, because of that I was in newspapers,in talk shows, in everything.And I became famous.A lot of people started writing emails to meand saying, "What you're doing is awesome."But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.What I really wanted to do was learn,and to change myself.So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground --into this research project.I wanted to see what I could learn.
因為那件事，我出名了，我上了報紙，上了脫口秀，上了很多地方。很多人發郵件對我說我做的事情很棒。但名聲對我沒有意義，我真正想要的是學習，然后改變我自己。所以我把剩下的100天拒絕計劃變成了一個調查報告，我想看看我能學到什么。
9:53And then I learned a lot of things.I discovered so many secrets.For example, I found if I just don't run,if I got rejected,I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"and the magic word is, "why."
我確實學到了很多東西，我發現了很多秘訣。比如說，我發現如果我不只顧著逃跑的話，當我被拒絕的時候，我可以將“no”變為“yes”，完成這個轉變的關鍵詞是“why”。
10:04So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand,knocked on the door and said,"Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"
有一天我拿著一束花敲開了一個陌生人的門，問道：“嘿，我可以把這束花種在你的院子里嗎？”
10:12(Laughter)
10:13And he said, "No."But before he could leave I said,"Hey, can I know why?"And he said, "Well, I have this dog that would dig up anything I put in the backyard.I don't want to waste your flower.If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie.She loves flowers."So that's what I did.I went across and knocked on Connie's door.And she was so happy to see me.
他說：“不可以”，但在他離開前我問了為什么，然后他回答說：“嗯，因為我養了一只狗，它會挖出我種在院子里任何東西，我不想糟蹋你的花。不過如果你想種的話，你可以穿過街道去問問Connie”，她很愛花。”所以我穿過了街道，敲開了Connie的門，而她很歡迎我。
10:37(Laughter)
10:38And then half an hour later,there was this flower in Connie's backyard.I'm sure it looks better now.
半小時后，我的花種在了Connie的院子里，我很確定它現在一定長得更好了。
10:43(Laughter)
10:45But had I left after the initial rejection,I would've thought,well, it's because the guy didn't trust me,it's because I was crazy,because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good.It was none of those.It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted.And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral,using a sales term.I converted a referral.
但如果我在最初的拒絕后我就離開的話，我一定會想，那個人拒絕我是因為我看起來不好，他不信任我。但實際上只是因為他的情況不方便，他還給我提供了一個建議呢。
11:05Then one day --and I also learned that I can actually say certain thingsand maximize my chance to get a yes.So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks,and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters?You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store,and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically?I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."
然后有一天我認識我可以具體化我的建議，盡可能得到一個“yes”。舉個例子，有一天我去了星巴克，問經理我可不可以當一名星巴克接待員，經理問什么是星巴克接待員，我說：“你知道沃爾瑪接待員嗎？就是那些在客人走進去之前說hi，并確保沒人偷東西的人。我想讓星巴克的顧客也有那種體驗。”
11:30(Laughter)
11:32Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually --Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing.And he was like, "Oh" --yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric --and he was like, "I'm not sure."This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed.It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor.And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,just don't get too weird."
事實上，我并不認為這是個好主意。但經理Eric先是恍然大悟的樣子，然后說他不確定。我問他：“這件事很奇怪嗎？”他說確實很奇怪。但突然他又改變了想法，拋開了疑慮，對我說：“好吧，你可以做星巴克接待員，只要不表現得太奇怪就行了。”
12:00(Laughter)
12:02So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter.I said "hi" to every customer that walked in,and gave them holiday cheers.By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is,don't be a greeter.
所以第二天我去做了星巴克接待員，我對每一個進門的顧客說“hi”,給他們假日祝福。順便說一句，我不知道你們的工作是什么，但別去做接待員。
12:13(Laughter)
12:14It was really boring.But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"I mentioned the doubt that he was having.And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird.That means I was actually thinking just like him,seeing this as a weird thing.And again, and again,I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question,I gained their trust.People were more likely to say yes to me.
那真的很無聊。但我發現我能完成這件事是因為我提出了他的疑問，那意味著我并不奇怪，我和他同樣認為這件事很奇怪。很多次后，我有了經驗，當你先提出人們可能會有的疑惑后，人們會更信任你，會更愿意答應你的請求。
12:41And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ...by asking.You know, I came from four generations of teachers,and my grandma has always told me,"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,but it'd be great if you became a teacher."
然后我想我可以通過詢問完成我的夢想。我來自一個四代人都是老師的家庭，我的奶奶總告訴我說我可以做任何我想做的事，但如果我能成為一名教師就更好了。
12:56(Laughter)
12:58But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't.But it has always been my dream to actually teach something.So I said, "What if I just ask and teach a college class?"I lived in Austin at the time,so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?"I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times.But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it --and on the third try the professor was very impressed.He was like, "No one has done this before."And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson.He said, "Wow, I can use this.Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum."And two months later I was teaching a class.
但我想當一個企業家，所以我沒有成為一名老師。但教學一直也是我的愿望。我想如果我去要求在大學課堂教一節課會怎么樣呢？我那時住在奧斯丁，所以我去了位于奧斯丁的德克薩斯大學，問教授我能不能教他的班。開始幾次我沒有得到許可，第三次嘗試的時候，教授對我印象深刻，沒人這樣干過。我帶著準備好的課件和PPT進去，教授說：“哇，我可以用這個。你可以兩個月后再來，我會把你安排進總課程中。”兩個月后，我開始在一個班上課。
13:37This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture.You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?
這是我--你們可能看不清楚，照的不好。看吧，有時候你可能還會被燈光拒絕，是吧？
13:43(Laughter)
13:45But wow --when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying,because I thoughtI could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking.I used to think I have to accomplish all these things --have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach --but no, I just asked,and I could teach.
但當我完成教學的時候，我走出去大哭，因為我只是通過詢問就完成了我的愿望。我過去總認為我必須完成很多事情，做一個很牛的企業家，或者成為博士才能夠教書，但我沒有，我只是勇敢地詢問爭取。
14:04And in that picture, which you can't see,I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr.Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world,who change the way we live and the way we think,are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections.People like Martin Luther King, Jr.,like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,or even Jesus Christ.These people did not let rejection define them.They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves.And they embraced rejection.
在那張照片里，我舉了馬丁路德金的例子。為什么？因為在我的研究里面，我發現改變世界，改變我們生活方式和思考方法的，是那些經常面對拒絕的人，就像馬丁路德金，就像圣雄甘地，納爾遜曼德拉，甚至耶穌基督。這些人并沒有用拒絕去定義他們，他們用自己對此的反應去定義自己。他們接受拒絕。
14:38And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection,and in my case,rejection was my curse,was my boogeyman.It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it.Then I started embracing it.I turned that into the biggest gift in my life.I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities.I use my blog, I use my talk,I use the book I just published,and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.
我們不必成為偉人才能從拒絕中學習，就我來說，拒絕曾是我的禍根，是我的食蟲人。它一直在干擾我的生活因為我不斷地想擺脫它，但我開始接受它的時候，它就變成了我生命中最好的禮物。我開始教人們把拒絕變成機會，我寫博客，演講，出書，甚至用技術去幫助人們克服對于拒絕的恐懼。
15:11When you get rejected in life,when you are facing the next obstacleor next failure,consider the possibilities.Don't run.If you just embrace them,they might become your gifts as well.
當你們遇到拒絕的時候，當你們面臨一個又一個的挫折時，想一想成功的可能性。不要逃跑，勇敢接受拒絕，它們也可能成為你的禮物。
15:24Thank you.
希望大家看了這篇文章后，能夠不再那么害怕拒絕，在得到答案后，再勇敢問一下為什么，不斷改進，不斷前進。
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